Session 2: Juggernaut

Motherfuckers Prime, the first campaign in the Dying Lands. A mix of Mörk Borg’s setting, Knave 2e’s rules, and lots of homebrew.

Players: Henry Park, James Moutsos, Jill Gotz, and Nico Sweeney.

Imported from Medium.com

Day 1, 10:00pm —

Stile and Gorthron discover Mara, the invisible flesh giant. Mara requests a lamb chop, and after some haggling, they come to an agreement: whoever can get Mara a lambchop first can enter his chest (just like a teenager did moments ago). Stile and Gorthron race back to the inn, tripping and attacking each other in a fierce competition. They knock on the kitchen door, where Argval greets them. Gorthron pays Argval for the food they ate yesterday and Argval gives both of the boys a raw lamb chop. They race back to the barn and feed Mara. They ask to go inside his chest and Mara requests a blanket. They see whats going on here, so they demand to be let in, to which Mara replies: “in the morning.” Stile and Gorthron vomit on each other, still drunk and high, strip all of their clothes off, cover Mara with a blanket of barn corpses, and pass out next to the giant.

Day 2, 6:00am —

Victoria and Calypso meet up in the morning and find Argval. He explains how he can hire the party as soon as possible, and can get a covered wagon driven into Haum in the next four days for them to travel to Grift. Argval heard there’s a new drug spreading around Grift called “Tracy.” Apparently it was created by Violence, the giant who took over the city a few months ago, and is distributed by his soldiers the homicide boys. If the party can safely deliver a sample of Tracy back to Argval he’ll pay them a total 2,000 coins, 1,000 of it upfront. The two of them agree.

7:00am. Stile and Gorthron finally convince Mara to let them in his cockpit chest. Inside, they find a room the size of a small living room. The teenager wearing lopsided armor they saw earlier stands nervously inside talking to a figure connected to the wall. The figure introduces himself as Umbalminster, the famous dark wizard (whom no one has heard of). He offers to teach anyone intelligent enough one of his signature spells. Gorthron chooses the Marble Madness spellbook. Umbalminster tells them to spread the word of Umbalminster the dark wizard before he dies.

8:00am. After Stile and Gorthron catch up Victoria and Calypso, Victoria tracks down the necromancers whereabouts in the village square. They find out the necromancer is named Sunn, and she agrees to hold up her end of the deal: re-animate Cydwin so she can finish her potion. The potion-making process takes four hours, so the party heads to the library while Victoria travels to the barn to meet Mara, Umbalminster, and the teenage scribe Chancy in the meantime.

Stile, Gorthron, and Calypso find many interesting books at the library. Calypso picks up a copy of “The Strong Survive.” Gorthron grabs “The Highs and Lows of Comedy” and “The Nechrubel Diaries” for himself, and picks up “The Augury of Human Connections” for Victoria. Stile grabs the last intact book, an adventure novel called “The Parasitic Monarchs of Exotica.”

Victoria meets Umbalminster, Chancy, and Mara. Umbalminster finds them: “the smartest yet!” and gifts them a Miniaturize spellbook.

After finishing his comedy pamphlet, Gorthron realizes if he successfully peforms at a live entertainment venue he’ll become a Comedian. Calypso realizes if she follows the training regimen in her book for 12 hours a day for a week straight she’ll become a Juggernaut. Stile and Calypso read their books.

12:00pm. Cydwin’s ghost is returned to her body. She explains it’ll be about a week or two before she can help them make their first potion, as she needs to talk with some people now that she’s properly alive, but she’ll be here waiting when they need her.

The party continues to pass around and read their new books.

Day 3 —

Calypso begins her journey to become a Juggernaut, doing intensive workouts for the next seven days. Stile and Gorthron find Pandorog writing poetry under a tree outside Haum and he returns Stile’s bow and arrows to him.

Calypso

Day 6 —

The covered wagon arrives. Argval packs 40 rations for the party’s trip and continues to feed and house them until they leave. He mentions they’ll have steady employment as long as they prove themselves loyal and competent couriers.

Day 11 —

Calypos finishes her Juggernaut training ripped as fuck, shedding her ego and fashioning a moth mask and additional enhancements to her halberd. Gorthron is given a compass and leads the pack, titling themselves as “Motherfuckers Prime,” as the party heads rowards Grift. They pass two farmers on the road, humid weather, otherwise uneventful. Watches go as planned and noting happens that night.

Day 12 —

Around midday the party sees a fight happening across the road. It looks like three homicide boys destroyed an orcish bastard’s campsite on the side of the road, the warhammer wielding brute defending his life. The party joins the combat, the bastard immeditaely falling as he’s picked apart by the homicide boys. Only sustaining a few injuries, the party kill all three homicide boys. They take all the weapons present, as well as the homicide boys’ uniforms. Victoria, Gorthron, and Stile change into the uniforms.

That night, Gorthron (high as hell on chump) spots five travelers with their mule traveling along the road in the darkness with their sooty lanterns. He wakes everyone up, causing a disturbance to the rests and watches. Everyone but Gorthron and Stile fall back asleep as the two boys head out into the darkness to mess with the travelers. They scream help when they get close, and the travelers reveal their homicide boy uniforms with their lanterns which frightens them even more. After a tense back-and-forth, Gorthron and Stile leave the travelers (Stile noticed their missing pinkies, so actually thieves) and return to the wagon.

Day 13, 12:00pm —

The party wakes up at noon due to their nighttime shenanigans and continues their journey, a day and a half left of travel until they reach Grift.