Session 5: Blasterace

Motherfuckers Prime, the first campaign in the Dying Lands. A mix of Mörk Borg’s setting, Knave 2e’s rules, and lots of homebrew.

Players: Henry Park, James Moutsos, Jill Gotz, and Nico Sweeney.

Imported from Medium.com

Day 20, 8:00am —

The Motherfuckers visited Tyler the merchant and bought some Grift dog jerky and a tin of rub in exchange for some coins and chump joints. The sweltering Summer sun made the party want to cool off and clean up, so they took a spa morning at the Grey Galth Inn’s bath room. Zaq, a self-proclaimed sophist, sat in the corner and asked the philosophical question of Fuck, Marry, Kill. After mentioning that he’s a naked wandering highwayman the Motherfuckers asked if he wanted to join them. Zaq became their new companion (1/1):

Zaq; Lv. 1 Naked Wanderer (1000/2000 EXP), Sophist

HP 4/4 AC 11 (towel) STR +1 WIS +1 DEX +1 Shiv d6

Skinny, pale 80-year-old man with an old man’s gut, wild gray beard, and stringy hair. Philosophically obsessed with Fuck, Marry, Kill.

1. Shiv 2. 500 coins 3. 234 coins. Towel.

Stile punched Zaq after he insulted the party, and now Zaq has a big fat crush on Stile.

11:00am —

The party decides to nap so they can travel at night, avoiding the desert heat. Pandorog explains how he can travel with the Motherfuckers until the crossroad to Galgenbeck and Brandonsford, but must leave on his own to Allians afterward until the mystery near Sarkash is solved:

Pandorog the Masticator; Lv. 5 Fanged Deserter, Poet

HP 18/18 AC 17 (gambeson, chain, breast plate, arm plate, leg plate) STR +5 WIS +3The Thirty-Third Blade d8+1. +1 Longsword, contains Phobia, Bite d6. Heal half the damage dealt, rounding down, Multi-attack. Attacks twice.

Leather mask with holes chewed out for the eyes and mouth. Each tooth filed into a knife edge. Plate covered in molar-shaped bumps. The scariest motherfucker you’ve ever seen, but actually very polite.

7:00pm —

11:00pm —

Day 21, 3:00am —

7:00am —

The Motherfuckers approach an armored wagon on the road, guarded by six yellow-armored barbarians from the Western Front. In an intense wagon and ground fight the party murdered all of the soldiers and the wagon’s driver. Stile took the rub during the fight and will be suffering from narcoleptic withdrawals for the next two days.


Blasterace, armored wagon

The armored wagon was holding three crates of exotic tea and a merchant speaking a language nobody recognizes. The party commandeers the new wagon and keeps the merchant alive, as he finishes writing his documents at the desk (more on the wagons in another post).

9:00am —

1:00pm —

The Motherfuckers sleep again, continuing their nocturnal travel.

9:00pm —

Day 22, 1:00am —

Fatigued after travel, the party rests for a watch.

5:00am —

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