Session 5: Blasterace

Motherfuckers Prime, the first campaign in the Dying Lands. A mix of Mörk Borg’s setting, Knave 2e’s rules, and lots of homebrew.

Players: Henry Park, James Moutsos, Jill Gotz, and Nico Sweeney.

Imported from Medium.com

Day 20, 8:00am —

The Motherfuckers visited Tyler the merchant and bought some Grift dog jerky and a tin of rub in exchange for some coins and chump joints. The sweltering Summer sun made the party want to cool off and clean up, so they took a spa morning at the Grey Galth Inn’s bath room. Zaq, a self-proclaimed sophist, sat in the corner and asked the philosophical question of Fuck, Marry, Kill. After mentioning that he’s a naked wandering highwayman the Motherfuckers asked if he wanted to join them. Zaq became their new companion (1/1):

Zaq; Lv. 1 Naked Wanderer (1000/2000 EXP), Sophist

HP 4/4 AC 11 (towel) STR +1 WIS +1 DEX +1 Shiv d6

Skinny, pale 80-year-old man with an old man’s gut, wild gray beard, and stringy hair. Philosophically obsessed with Fuck, Marry, Kill.

1. Shiv 2. 500 coins 3. 234 coins. Towel.

Stile punched Zaq after he insulted the party, and now Zaq has a big fat crush on Stile.

11:00am —

The party decides to nap so they can travel at night, avoiding the desert heat. Pandorog explains how he can travel with the Motherfuckers until the crossroad to Galgenbeck and Brandonsford, but must leave on his own to Allians afterward until the mystery near Sarkash is solved:

Pandorog the Masticator; Lv. 5 Fanged Deserter, Poet

HP 18/18 AC 17 (gambeson, chain, breast plate, arm plate, leg plate) STR +5 WIS +3The Thirty-Third Blade d8+1. +1 Longsword, contains Phobia, Bite d6. Heal half the damage dealt, rounding down, Multi-attack. Attacks twice.

Leather mask with holes chewed out for the eyes and mouth. Each tooth filed into a knife edge. Plate covered in molar-shaped bumps. The scariest motherfucker you’ve ever seen, but actually very polite.

7:00pm —

11:00pm —

Day 21, 3:00am —

7:00am —

The Motherfuckers approach an armored wagon on the road, guarded by six yellow-armored barbarians from the Western Front. In an intense wagon and ground fight the party murdered all of the soldiers and the wagon’s driver. Stile took the rub during the fight and will be suffering from narcoleptic withdrawals for the next two days.


Blasterace, armored wagon

The armored wagon was holding three crates of exotic tea and a merchant speaking a language nobody recognizes. The party commandeers the new wagon and keeps the merchant alive, as he finishes writing his documents at the desk (more on the wagons in another post).

9:00am —

1:00pm —

The Motherfuckers sleep again, continuing their nocturnal travel.

9:00pm —

Day 22, 1:00am —

Fatigued after travel, the party rests for a watch.

5:00am —

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One Evil Zombie

Image
“How can only one zombie be scary to a group of adventurers?” Short answer: watch an Evil Dead movie. Cheating answer: let’s design a new zombie. The core zombie: AC 8, HP 11, ATK 1 slam +2 (1d6), MV near, S +2, D -2, C +1, I -2, W -2, Ch -3, AL C, LV 2 Undead. Immune to morale checks. Relentless. If zombie reduced to 0 HP by a non-magical source, DC 15 CON to go to 1 HP instead. Let’s add some old-school flavor and edit Undead: Undead. Silent until it attacks. Immune to morale checks. In the world of Lefort undead are always corpses possessed by demons . After watching Evil Dead: Rise tonight I realized how similar this concept is to the Evil Dead series and was inspired to create this post.  This isn’t some poor soul dimly reanimated. This is a master of chaos and evil inhabiting corporeal form,  possibly for the first time. ATK 1 gore +2 (1d8 + black bile), I +1 Black Bile. DC 12 CON or 1d4 CON damage (can’t heal while ill). Repeat check once per hour; ends on s
Read more

Session 1: Haum

Image
Motherfuckers Prime, the first campaign in the Dying Lands. A mix of Mörk Borg’s setting, Knave 2e’s rules, and lots of homebrew. Players: Henry Park, James Moutsos, Jill Gotz, and Nico Sweeney. Imported from Medium.com The Dying Lands Day 1 — Teenage, chump-addicted delinquent Gorthron “Son of Death” and gold-skinned guard Calypso awake from a corpse pile on the plains of Grift and head to a nearby village. Investigator Victoria Hildegard and shepherd-archer Stile Bright get to know each other at the village’s inn, the Grey Galth. Gorthron and Calypso (having just realized she now possess a crescent-shaped halberd and golden skin) arrive at the village of Haum, enter the Grey Galth inn, and sit at the same table as Victoria and Stile. The four uncover that they’ve all died, or so they thought. They remember being in the city of Grift, a giant falling from the sky, and mass destruction. Noticing the pleasant summer wind, it must’ve been months since the wintery attack on Grift. The par
Read more

The Holy Grail

Image
The half-orc templar of Sowden have been searching for the fabled Holy Grail of Lefort for years. They've whittled down the location to be somewhere within the jungle of Boar Valley, which the King of Sowden has named the Green Grail. At the center of the jungle lies an ancient temple, long abandoned by its Viperian council. Viperian shamans, wearing red (blood-dyed) cloaks with patches of white spots, care for the Holy Grail deep within the temple.  Viperian fresco of a dire fungus In actuality the Grail is an inverted psychedelic mushroom, its shaft sprouting up into a cap that grows outward like a chalice. An unlimited supply of clear jelly pulsing with purple energy sits in the grail, slowly infusing with the mushroom's psychoactive chemicals. The tendrils of the mushroom grow deep underneath the jungle for miles and miles, potentially expanding under most of the island.  The 2d4+1 shamans (stats as viperian wizards) sip from the Holy Grail as part of their spiritual ritual
Read more